Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
