At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
