You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
