so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
