If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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