Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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