so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize