She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
