Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it glows. i had to have it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
