I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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