Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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