What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize