If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
