If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
