Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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