Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
