Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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