I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
