and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
