Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
