And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
