I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
