i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
false alarm. still invincible.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
