his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
