Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
