I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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