For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
