I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
