I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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