Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
They have beer where we have blood.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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