so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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