you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
