Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
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