I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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