I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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