the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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