yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dear god my vagina.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize