He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize