i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
