Too much gin, very little bucket
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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