I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
