Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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