How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
