Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
