I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
