so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The adults are the big ones right?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
