first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
