And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
