I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
