Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
