Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
