Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were trust falling into bushes
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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