he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
