I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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