watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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