"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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