He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
