he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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