I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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